Don't know if anyone actually reads these or not, but...
I'm having trouble finding inspiration anywhere right now. I've never had this problem.
Never felt like this and I don't know how to make it any better.
I've always been of the idea that if you are unhappy, change things until you are happy.
So I'm making MAJOR changes in my life...
but it doesn't feel like enough. Maybe because I have no goal in mind. No plan for once.
I haven't had a night without anxiety dreams for the last month. It's exhausting.
I've dreamt of everything from angry people to monsters to biting turtles to man eating tigers wearing tuxedos.
I used to think all I ever wanted to do was make beautiful things. Write beautiful words.
I'm feeling a little lost. It helps to put it down in words.
I feel like a disappointment right now, and it's hard to convince myself otherwise.
None of my plans have actually succeeded and now I'm closing another chapter in my life by shutting down my store.
Now, I'm back to square one. No job, no inspiration, no income.
And still I feel like I'm in a much better place than a lot of people. I have a lot to be thankful for and I keep trying to focus on those things. Yet, the feeling of disappointment and failure keep seeping in. Into my artwork, into my writing.
Just not sure what to do from this point. What is the next step I should take?
I'm almost in my 30's and I still don't know what to do with myself.
How do you know what you are supposed to do with your life?
When do you know what is right for you?
Listening to: Adele
Reading: craigslist posts
Watching: Sailor Moon